The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.


Posted July 13, 2017
 
 

Daily Affirmations ...

By Annie

 

You know … even an ossismistic[i] dog like me needs some picking up occasionally.  Here are some of my favorites:

.

I deserve good things, I am entitled to my share of happiness.  I refuse to beat myself up.  I am an attractive person.  I am fun to be with.

That's just stinkin' thinkin!

 

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!

 

But today, I've decided to take a risk, and wear a new sweater.  It was sent to me by a recovering sex addict, Melissa D., who knitted it herself; she said it gave her something to do with her hands.

 

So, basically, the strategy is:  You get me to lie, because if I don't, everyone goes to jail for perjury?

As they say in Al-Anon:  Trace it.  Face it.  And Erase it.

My father grew up in the Great Depression - his mother's.

Listen to me.  I'm should-ing all over myself.

 

I don't know what I'm doing.  They're gonna cancel the show.  I'm gonna die homeless and penniless and twenty pounds overweight and no one will ever love me.

 

As we say in program:  Progress, not Perfection.

When it comes to partying, no one gets down like people in recovery.

I'm in a shame spiral.

 

You're only as sick as your secrets.

 

Compare and despair.

 

You need a checkup from the neckup.

 

I am a human being, not a human doing.

 

It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.


Oh, Julia, you don't know Roz.  She's like a cootie, or something.

 

I am a worthy human being.

.

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.

 

... and that's ... okay.

 

 

 

Wait … I fibbed!  I stole these “Daily Affirmations” from the ol’ www.  They are mostly the creation of Stuart Smalley. 

 

If you don’t know who he is … he is a fictional character invented and performed by comedian and satirist (and later a democratic United States Senator from Minnesota) Al Franken.  The character originated on the television show Saturday Night Live, in a mock self-help show called "Daily Affirmation With Stuart Smalley."  It first aired on SNL's February 9, 1991 episode.

 

Stuart participates in many (sometimes fictional) programs, not limited to Overeaters Anonymous, Children of Alcoholic Parents Anonymous, and Children of Rageaholic Parents Anonymous.  He is an effeminate man with a perfectly coiffed bleached-blond hairdo, who regularly wears a yellow button-down shirt with a powder blue cardigan.

 

It is frequently hinted that Stuart may be gay, but his sexual orientation is never clearly stated.  All his romantic partners have names which could be male or female, like Dale, Chris, or Merle.  His father gripes, "You'd drink too if you had Liberace for a son."

 

Within the context of the show, Stuart is quick to point out that he is not a licensed therapist but relies instead upon the credibility of his own experiences as a non-professional.  His guests are very often celebrities; however, Smalley is seemingly unaware of his guests' fame as he never uses their full names so as to "protect (their) anonymity."

 

You can watch an intro to “Daily Affirmations” HERE (much more can be found on YouTube)!

 

In closing,

 

Dear Stuart, your show gave me the courage to feel my feelings, and to feel my feelings about my feelings, and my feelings about my feelings about my feelings.  And my ...


Love to all,

 

Annie

 

 

 

 

 



[i] A BC word – you can read the definition HERE.

 







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