The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

Posted November 27, 2014


BC's Q&A's

(Number Dos):


Yeah ... here's more!  Hopefully you like them ... some are groaners ... but Mr. Bubba (among others) keeps on questioning ... and "he" still thinks out loud!  Here is another sampling of some of our thoughts and questions that we have posed to the rest of the crew ...  Hope you enjoy!



Q:  How can you tell who is Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?

A:  He has sesame seed buns.


Q:  How many cockroaches does it take to screw on a light bulb?

A:  Can’t tell.  As soon as the light comes on, they scatter!


Q:  How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?

A:  A buccaneer.


Q:  How many penguins does it take to fly an airplane?

A:  None. Penguins can’t fly!


Q:  How many letters are in the alphabet?

A:  Really 26, but 24, since E.T. went home.


Q:  How do you make holy water?

A:  Boil the hell out of it!


Q:  How do you make “nor do we” into one word?



Q:  How do you make 7 even?

A:  Take away the S!


Q:  How do you make a hot dog stand?

A:  Take it’s chair away.


Q:  How do you catch an elephant?

A:  Dig a hole, fill it with ashes, surround it by peas.  When he comes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.


Q:  How do you keep a rhino from charging?

A:  Take away his credit card.  (dad says that this didn’t work with mom-D, she had others!)


Q:  How do really little people call each other?

A:  On microphones.


Q:  How did a boy that was failing every subject get to high school anyway?

A:  He rode the bus.


Q:  How did the carpenter break his teeth?

A:  He chewed his nails.


Q:  How can you cut the sea in two?

A:  With a seasaw.


Q:  What book do you like the most?

A:  Woman: “My husband’s checkbook.”


Q:  How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

A:  His lips are moving


Q:  What did the lawyer name his daughter?

A:  Sue.

Q:  Where do fish sleep?

A:  In a river bed.


Q:  What is the difference between a fish and a piano?

A:  You can’t tune a fish.


Q:  Why you should never tell a joke on ice while fishing?

A:  The ice will crack up!


Q:  What do you catch when you go ice fishing?

A:  A cold.


Q:  What did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall?

A:  Dam


Q:  Where do fish keep money?

A:  In a river bank.

Q:  If marriages are made in heaven, than what are made in Hell?

A:  The days after marriage!


Q:  What did Billy say after he learned how to count money?

A:  “It all makes cents now!”


Q:  What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back to you?

A:  A stick.


Q:  What did the tie say to the hat?

A:  You go on a head, I’ll just hang around.


Q:  What Question must you always answer yes to?

A:  What does Y-E-S spell?


Q:  What do you call a bear without an ear?

A:  B.


Q:  What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

A:  Bugs Bunny.


Q:  Why does the Government NOT allow a man to marry two women?

A:  Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same mistake.




You know that it is all still "MORE" better than good!  Again, we hope that at least one of these brought a smile to your face ... that's what we were hoping for!!  If you laughed out loud (or maybe groaned out loud) - those are still BONUS points!!! 


How about some Guest Articles??  We'll take them on any topic that is of interest to you (as long as it passes the censors! - and I don't have any real concerns on that issue.  Just keep it relatively "clean" and mostly politics free, and we'll be good to go!)


And as before, keep in mind ... you ought to:


Just smile at someone,

pat a dog,

hug your spouse,

help a neighbor,

help a stranger,

get involved in something worthwhile,

you need to share a laugh with a friend!!!




BCs 2nd QA






Happy Thanksgiving!!!





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This is a "funsy" little website that allows us (that's the BC's) to allow dad to vent about life's ups and downs.
Remember, this is all in fun and isn't intended to hurt anyone's feelings!

If you would like to support this website - that's easy!
Just smile at someone, pat a dog, hug your spouse, help a neighbor, help a stranger, get involved in something worthwhile,
but remember, EVERY DAY, you need to share a laugh with a friend!!!  You can make a difference - START NOW!!!!!!!!
If you enjoyed what you read (or thought about), please let us know at!
God Bless You.




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If anyone would even want to publish this stuff though - email us at and I am sure we could work something out.