The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

Posted April 23, 2015


BC's FOURTH (can you believe it!!) Q&A??!!


Well, dad's not been overly anxious to be on the computer in the evenings here lately!  So, we have no option but throwing out some lightweight food for thought for ya'll today!  You guessed it ... back by popular demand (we know that you were wishing that we were out of them) ... but, here's more!  And like before - some are deep (or not), some are silly, some are groaners, and the rest are just in there to take up enough space to call this a webpage!  We're trying to get dad to publish a "beach story" before too long ... but, no promises!!!!  Hope you enjoy and have a FABWONDERMOUS day!



Q:  What did zero say to eight?

A:  Nice belt!


Q:  What spells 4 and has 3 letters?

A:  FOR.


Q:  What animal is part pig and part tree?

A:  A “Porky Pine”.


Q:  What can you find in the middle of nowhere?

A:  The letter H.


Q:  What is big, white, gives milk, and has one horn?

A:  A milk truck.


Q:  What do you call a dog with no legs?

A:  It doesn’t matter, it won’t come.


Q:  In what school do you learn how to greet people?

A:  In hi school!


Q:  What do snakes do after they fight?

A:  They hiss and make up.


Q:  What is the longest word in the world?

A:  Smiles!  There is a mile between the first and last letter.


Q:  What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

A:  Time to get a new clock!


Q:  What is the best material for kites?

A:  Fly paper.


Q:  What is the best thing to use if you itch?

A:  Scratch paper.


Q:  What kind of robbery is least dangerous?

A:  A safe robbery.


Q:  What Christmas song is this: ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ?

A:  No L!


Q:  What’s the best month for a parade?

A:  March!


Q:  If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?

A:  Missiletoe.


Q:  Is being a telephone operator a business or a profession?

A:  It is more like a calling.


Q:  Do teenagers age fast?

A:  No, but sometimes their parents do!


Q:  Which dog can jump higher than a building?

A:  Any dog, buildings can’t jump!


Q:  Which one is faster, hot or cold?

A:  Hot, because you can catch a cold.


Q:  In which battle was Admiral Lord Nelson killed?

A:  His last one.


Q:  Which kind of bird picks up heavy things?

A:  A crane!


Q:  When is rabbit soup not good?

A:  When there’s a hare in it!


Q:  Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?

A:  To the retail store.


Q:  Where did the king keep his armies?

A:  Up his sleevies.


Q:  Where do snowmen keep their money?

A:  In a snowbank.


Q:  Where do sheep get a haircut?

A:  At the baa baa shop!


Q:  Where can you weigh a pie?

A:  Somewhere over the rainbow weigh a pie.


Q:  Why does Snoopy want to quit the comic strip?

A:  He’s tired of working for “peanuts”!


Q:  Why isn’t your nose twelve inches long?

A:  Because then it would be a foot!


Q:  If there’s H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?

A:  K9P!




We need to always keep in mind that there are some people out there that are less fortunate than we are!  If you happen to hear from any other readers that are having trouble understanding these Q & A's, please help a neighbor out!!!


As before:


You know that it is all still "MORE" better than good!  Again, we hope that at least one of these brought a smile to your face ... that's what we were hoping for!!  If you laughed out loud (or maybe groaned out loud) - those are BONUS points!!! 


Just smile at someone,

pat a dog,

hug your spouse,

help a neighbor,

help a stranger,

get involved in something worthwhile,

you need to share a laugh with a friend!!!








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This is a "funsy" little website that allows us (that's the BC's) to allow dad to vent about life's ups and downs.
Remember, this is all in fun and isn't intended to hurt anyone's feelings!

If you would like to support this website - that's easy!
Just smile at someone, pat a dog, hug your spouse, help a neighbor, help a stranger, get involved in something worthwhile,
but remember, EVERY DAY, you need to share a laugh with a friend!!!  You can make a difference - START NOW!!!!!!!!
If you enjoyed what you read (or thought about), please let us know at!
God Bless You.




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If anyone would even want to publish this stuff though - email us at and I am sure we could work something out.