The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

Posted July 21, 2016


BC's Fifth (and probably FINAL!!) Q&A


Well, we thought that we were through all of these ... BUT ... back by popular demand (as Merritt was researching the archives, she ran across these and DEMANDED that we continue them!) ... here's more!  Like before - some are deep (or not), some are silly, some are groaners, and the rest are just in there to take up enough space to call this a webpage!  Merritt started coming up with some and it didn't take long for Bubba to jump in ... they started giggling and acting all silly, which attracted Gall and Annie - Before you knew it - we had enough for a web page!  We all really hope you enjoy!



Q:  Why was the math book sad?

A:  Because it had too many problems.


Q:  Why did the doctor tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A:  Because she didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!


Q:  Why do hummingbirds hum?

A:  Because they don’t know the words!


Q:  What is at the end of everything?

A:  The letter G.


Q:  Why is the chef mean?

A:  Because he beats the eggs, mashes the potatoes and whips the cream!


Q:  Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

A:  Because he had no “body” to go with!


Q:  Why do Gorillas have big fingers?

A:  Because they have big nostrils!


Q:  Why does a giraffe eat so little?

A:  Because little goes a long way!


Q:  Why did the lady miss her husband?

A:  Because she never shot a gun before!


Q:  Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?

A:  Because Donald Ducked!


Q:  Why did the basketball floor get wet?

A:  The players dribbled on it.


Q:  Why did the man take off his door bell?

A:  He wanted to win the NoBell prize!


Q:  Why did the red light turn red?

A:  You would too if people watched you change!


Q:  Why did the jelly roll?

A:  Because he saw the apple turnover.


Q:  Why do surgeons wear masks?

A:  If somebody makes a mistake nobody will know who did it.


Q:  Why do parents know best?

A:  Because they made the same mistakes before!


Q:  You answer me, although I never ask you questions.  What am I?

A:  The telephone.


Q:  You can’t keep this until you have given it.

A:  Your word.


Q:  There is $21.00 in 1 dollar bills that has to be split evenly among the 2 fathers and 2 sons.  How is this possible?

A:  There is only really three people … the grandfather, the father, and the father’s son who each get $7.

Q:  There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls.  What is it?

A:  A Window.


Q:  What question can someone ask all day long, always get completely different answers, and yet all the answers could be correct?

A:  “What time is it?”


Q:  In a certain city, 5% of all the persons in town have unlisted phone numbers.  If you select 100 names at random from that city’s phone directory, how many people selected will have unlisted phone numbers?

A:  None.  If their names are in the phone directory, they do not have unlisted phone numbers!


Q:  After a man had been blindfolded, someone hung up his hat.  The man walked 100 yards, turned around, and shot a bullet through his hat.  How is such a feat possible?

A:  His hat was hung over the barrel of the rifle!


Q:  At a posh restaurant I was having dinner with a noted historian.  We were discussing the relative merits of Woodrow Wilson, when my friend turned to me and said, “I’ll tell you all you need to know about the character of Woodrow Wilson.  Why when he ran for president, his own mother didn’t even vote for him!”

“Is that true?” I asked.

“Of course, it’s true,” he said. “I know whereof I speak.”

That ended the discussion.  I didn’t realize until I got home that, although my friend spoke the truth, I had been tricked.  How had I been mislead?
A:  Nope – that’s right – his momma didn’t vote for him, and she was still alive!  See, she couldn’t vote for him.  Women didn’t have the right to vote before 1920.


Q:  How is it possible to shave three times a day and still grow a beard?

A:  If you were a barber, you could shave other men three times a day and still grow your own beard.


Q:  A man fell off a 20-foot ladder and landed on the sidewalk, but he did not get hurt.  Why not?

A:  He fell off the bottom rung!


Q:  There is a horse tied to a rope.  The rope is 10 feet long.  There is a bale of hay 23 feet in front of the horse.  The horse is able to eat the hay, yet does not break the rope.  How is that possible?

A:  The rope isn’t tied to anything!


Q:  What is the center of gravity?

A:  The letter V.




Hey - as always ... You know that life is all still "MORE" better than good ('specially if you put a little heart into it!)!  We hope that at least one of these brought a smile to your face ... that's what we were hoping for!!  If you laughed out loud (or maybe groaned out loud) - those are BONUS points!!! 





Just smile at someone,

pat a dog,

hug your spouse,

help a neighbor,

help a stranger,

get involved in something worthwhile,

you need to share a laugh with a friend!!!








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This is a "funsy" little website that allows us (that's the BC's) to allow dad to vent about life's ups and downs.
Remember, this is all in fun and isn't intended to hurt anyone's feelings!

If you would like to support this website - that's easy!
Just smile at someone, pat a dog, hug your spouse, help a neighbor, help a stranger, get involved in something worthwhile,
but remember, EVERY DAY, you need to share a laugh with a friend!!!  You can make a difference - START NOW!!!!!!!!
If you enjoyed what you read (or thought about), please let us know at!
God Bless You.




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If anyone would even want to publish this stuff though - email us at and I am sure we could work something out.