The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

Posted September 18, 2014


BC's Q&A's:


It's been raining around here (thank you God!), and has been getting cooler, so we've just been hanging around the shop ... getting kind of bored.  Well, we came up with this little game where we started asking questions to rest of the group, and the best answer will get published on the site so all of ya'll could "test YOUR knowledge" and see how it compares with our collective insight.  Now, you should remember, that Bubba is often anxious on the "trigger", and he has been watching Jeopardy with dad on occasion ... and you know that he is constantly thinking!  Here is a small sampling of our questions that have been posed ... mom-D gets stumped fairly reguarly (but we have yet to stump Ronny - that guy has an answer for everything! - though sometimes it doesn't pertain at all to what we were talking about!!).  Hope you enjoy!


Q:  Name the four seasons?

A:  Summer, Winter, salt, and pepper.


Q:  Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A:  Filtration makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and tourists.


Q:  How is dew formed?
A:  The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire (that is the same as sweat for all you A&M folks!).


Q:  What causes the tides in the oceans?

A:  The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon.  All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.  I forget where the sun joins the fight though.


Q:  Name the major disease associated with cigarettes:

A:  Premature death.


Q:  How can you delay milk turning sour?

A:  Keep it in the cow.


Q:  What is a seizure?

A:  A Roman Emperor.


Q:  What is a terminal illness?

A:  When you are sick at the airport.


Q:  Who has the most fun when you tickle a mule?

A:  He may enjoy it but you’ll get a bigger kick out of it!


Q:  If John’s mom has 5 sons and their names are Ja, Je, Ji, and Jo.  Who is the last one? 

A:  John.


Q:  On your way home you take a right and three lefts then you see two men in masks.  Who are those men?

A:  They are the umpire and the catcher.


Q:  Why do bees have sticky hair?

A:  They use honeycombs.


Q:  What could you call all of the small rivers that flow into the Nile?

A:  Juveniles.


Q:  What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

A:  One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.  (that's ok you A&M folks, just skip to the next one!)


Q:  What kind of flower do you have between your nose and your chin?

A:  Tulips.


Q:  Why is it possible to see through preachers?

A:  They are holy.


Q:  Why is Cinderella such a bad baseball player?

A1:  Because she has a pumpkin for a coach.  And/Or …

A2:  Because she ran away from the ball.


Q:  Why did the old house see the doctor?

A:  Because it had window pains.


Q:  Why were the little ink drops crying?

A:  Because their papa was in the pen and no one knew how long the sentence would be.


Q:  Why is an island like the letter “T”?

A:  It is in the middle of “waTer”.


Q:  Why is an empty room like a room full of married people?

A:  There isn’t a single person in it.


Q:  Why is Piglet so nasty?

A:  Because he plays with Pooh every day!


Q:  Why did dad run outside with his wallet open?

A:  He heard there was going to be some change in the weather.


Q:  Why wouldn’t the Energizer Bunny come out of the bathroom?

A:  Because he kept goin’ and goin’ and goin’!


Q:  Why didn’t the skeleton cross the busy street?

A1:  Because he had lost his nerves.  And/Or …

A2:  Because he had no guts!


Q:  Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, and cross the road again?

A:  Because he was a dirty double crosser.


Q:  Why aren’t elephant’s allowed on the beach?

A:  They always let their trunks down!


Q:  Why was ten afraid of seven?

A:  Because seven eight nine and he was next in line (ok .. you A&M'ers "seven ATE nine".  You get it now!?).


Q:  Why are mountain climbers curious?

A:  They always want to take another peak.


Q:  Since he lost his hair, why is Mr. Timothy Moore like an American City?

A:  Because he is “Bald Tim More”!


Q:  Why was the sand wet?

A:  Because the sea weed.  (Come on … Think about it!  If you can’t get it, email us and Bubba will explain!)




You know that it is all "MORE" better than good!  Hope at least one of these brought a smile to your face ... that's all we were hoping for!!  If you laughed out loud - that's a BONUS point ... if you groaned out loud, that's a 10X BONUS!!!!!




Just smile at someone,

pat a dog,

hug your spouse,

help a neighbor,

help a stranger,

get involved in something worthwhile,

you need to share a laugh with a friend!!!




You know ... between the recent Funderstorms and Dove Hunting - Bubba and Gall have become even closer!


Bubbas Q&A-02



Bubbas Q&A-01










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This is a "funsy" little website that allows us (that's the BC's) to allow dad to vent about life's ups and downs.
Remember, this is all in fun and isn't intended to hurt anyone's feelings!

If you would like to support this website - that's easy!
Just smile at someone, pat a dog, hug your spouse, help a neighbor, help a stranger, get involved in something worthwhile,
but remember, EVERY DAY, you need to share a laugh with a friend!!!  You can make a difference - START NOW!!!!!!!!
If you enjoyed what you read (or thought about), please let us know at!
God Bless You.




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If anyone would even want to publish this stuff though - email us at and I am sure we could work something out.