The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.


Posted March 5, 2015

 

Constipation[i]

By Bubba

 

Meditation.

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NOTE:  This isn’t me (duh) …

or even Miss Hardway! 

It’s just some picture that dad found on the internet

that he thought fit the story!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You know that I am THE “deep thinker” of this group! I attribute a whole lot of this depth due to my constipation!  I mean, I can constipate in the midst of almost any commotion (except yelling or fireworks – either of these really messes up my karma, don’t you know!!)  I’ve often caught myself constipating as I was walking across the yard – I just collapse right there on the spot!  Let me get in dad’s chair on a Sunday evening and I will constipate for as long as he lets me!!

 

Constipating is really good for everyone to do … you see it actually exercises your brain’s muscles!  Really!!  Now before you start rejecting this thesis as some sort of crackpot deal, or something related to some sort of faith or belief that you don’t support – or, worse yet, some sort of east coast (or west coast) liberal deal – stop and think about it for one or three, sevenths, of a dog beer … all constipation is, is the continuous and profound contemplation or musing on a subject or series of subjects of a deep or abstruse nature!  That’s it! … Pretty simple ... right?  What, oh yeah, I guess that definition was pretty abstruse wasn’t it?  Anyway, what I am trying to say is that it is the studying or thinking on something that is pretty difficult or hard to understand!  I’ll even go out on a limb and say that the thing that you’re pondering doesn’t always have to be all that deep!  Maybe another way of explaining this is … well, it’s just thinking things out, and through!

 

In any event, constipation has a sh*tload of benefits[ii]:

  1. Better Focus

  2. Less Anxiety

  3. More Creativity

  4. More Compassion

  5. Better Memory

  6. Less Stress

  7. More Gray Matter

(and all of this might mean less Gray Hair!  Guess it didn’t really work for dad … and have you noticed that gray “highlight” in mom-D’s hair??!!)

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Anyway, believe it or not, you can experience these benefits without sitting in weird positions, repeating silly words, burning smelly stuff, or wearing funny clothes!  Yeah, you can be “cool” and still constipate!  All you have to do is breathe!  Really!  You don’t need any special equipment or clothes or anything.  It’s simply just a matter of taking the time to concentrate on your topic and, in most cases, slow your mind down and follow your breath[iii].  You can do it in any position in which can accomplish these small tasks.  While most folks recommend that you get in a quiet area and sit still while constipating … there are those of us that think that you don’t even necessarily have to have these things in order to successfully constipate (though, when AC/DC is playing on dad’s radio in the shop, when I am reviewing my article, constipation is kinda hard to pull off!).

 

In fact, Buster Benson, the founder of 750words, believes that writing can even be a form of constipation.  The concept of 750 Words is pretty simple: every day, you type 750 words – the equivalent of three pages – a stream of conscious, whatever you want, free writing.  You earn e-points and e-badges (see our article, Gamification, for our thoughts on that!) for every day you type any number of words.  Your entries, which are supposed to be private by default, can be exported at any point.  Now as a word of caution – we ARE NOT necessarily recommending using 750words or any other web based system – and none of us, on this place, have ever used it.  But, we wholly support free writing, via any mechanism, as an excellent method of release! 

 

You see, to paraphrase Buster, a primary reason that this type of constipation might work for some folks is that the physical act of writing serves as a handrail on our thoughts and occupies a certain part of the brain that generally gets restless and looks for something else to do, because it’s already doing something:  writing.  Sometimes we all need to disable that restless squirrel in our brains!  This is why activities like walking, showering, doing the dishes, gardening, driving a tractor, etc. are all such great activities for stirring up creative thoughts (though dad does NOT do the dishes!).  Free writing has the added benefit of providing a tangible trail of thoughts as they rise up.  You’re essentially hitching a ride on your subconscious with your fingers!

 

Looking a little deeper, a writing constipation isn't that much different than journaling.  The main difference is that with “true” constipation, you observe your thoughts rather than write about your day or to solve a problem.  In reflecting back on these BC-Chronicles (many of the stories originated from “free writing” ramblings that dad later attempted to organize into a set of stories.  They all generally started with a legal pad, pencil, and a Coors Light, as doodlings or bullet points that often came across faster than he could write them down).

 

We firmly believe that writing can do wonders for your health and sanity (we can’t imagine how messed up that dad would be without it!).  Beyond keeping your creative juices flowing, regular writing gives you a safe, cathartic[iv] release valve for the stresses of your daily life, and you don't have to write fiction to get them.  In a sense, BC-Chronicles serves as a pretty good journal of things that have caused concerns to dad and has been a “funsy little website that allows us (that's the BC's) to allow dad to vent about life's ups and downs”.  We have never limited ourselves to 750 words and we don’t even come close to publishing everything we write.  Sometimes we write all fast and furiously, just to re-read later and then destroy (but we’d really recommend hanging on to it for a day (or week, or year ... REALLY!) or two before destroying!).  Some of you may not know that prior to "The Chronicles", that dad catharticized (yeah – a new favorite word since I looked up the definition!) with articles called “Time To Drive and Think”.

 

Not only does regular writing make you feel good, it helps you re-live the events that you have experienced in a safe environment where you can process them without fear or stress (maybe that’s why our early articles were attempted to be written with some sort of plausible deniability attached as to the ownership of the site and why we kept it more of a secret than of late.  Hopefully, you like some of the new pictures that we’re posting and our plan on continuing to do so).  I have heard dad stress to folks (and he has had an open invitation to EVERYONE who wants to publish on this site) to write down their experiences, emotions, fears, and concerns.  If you don’t think that you’re a writer – or don’t want to share with the big ol’ WWW – or don’t want to share with ANYONE! – that’s great too!  Take a little time, every now and then, especially when you’re stressed, scared, or excited, to do a little constipative writing!  You don’t have to solve any problems … you can just vent about them!  If just for yourself … it doesn’t have to have proper grammar or punctuation – it doesn’t have to be funny or even “good”.  But all of us BC’s believe that it will wind up to be pretty dang deep if you express your true thoughts, concerns, fears, and emotions.  Again – we urge you to put it in as safe of a place as you deem necessary after finishing it, and be sure to read it in a day or two – then … Rinse, Lather and Repeat!  Like meatloaf … leftovers are always better!!!!  If, after you've re-read it, you'd like for us to post it ... we would be PROUD!  We'll offer our limited ability in proofing, spelling, hiding identities, etc to the extent you'd like ... or we'll post it "as is", no questions asked!  And would be danged proud!!!

 

As Always …

Best Wishes!

Bubba (the deep sleeper thinker)

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Wait a minute ... that isn't right ... it's not CONSTIPATION ... what's the word?  Medication?  No, that's not it either ... let's see ... that's it --- it's Meditation!!!  Oh well, I HOPE you knew what I meant!  

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Yeah … yeah … yeah … I know that some of you “don’t like to write” –

  • Jot notes …

  • Jot bullet points …

  • Maybe later, you may feel like going back and filling in the gaps …

  • Maybe not …

  • The same thing gets accomplished …

  • Again, it ain’t really got to be all that sophisticated …

  • It’s just thinking things out, AND THROUGH!!!


Salud![v] Happy Catharticizing!!!!

 

 

 

 

Additional Resource:

If silent or still meditation hasn't worked for you, check out this link for additional ideas on how to start a writing meditation.  Just keep in mind, it doesn’t really have to be complicated … just get a pad, pencil (or pen) and start jotting down your thoughts!!

 

 

 

 



[i] This article was predicated by (that is to say, inspired by or based upon) the article “Try a Writing Meditation If Sitting Still Isn’t Working For You  

[iv] ca·thar·tic   [kuh-thahr-tik], ADJECTIVE:

  1. of or relating to catharsis.

  2. evacuating the bowels; purgative.

 

[v] "Salud" means "health" in Spanish.

 

 

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