The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

  Posted July 14, 2016

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Happy As Hell 13


Just Happy As Hell

By Merritt


Yes sir/Yes ma’am!  That’s ME!!


Love my new people, love my sisters, love the place, love the tank, ADORE the Gator … oh yeah, Bubba’s pretty cool too   ; )    !  Yeppers ... I'm just happy as hell!


I am so glad that I picked dad (and mom) out on the internet and gave them a chance.  They have really shined – yep, they’ve exceeded my expectations!  My foster mom, Gigi, and the crew back at the good ol’ All Border Collie Rescue[i] were all concerned that I would have to stay outside too much … HECK, I just love it (I do have quite a bit of BC in me, you know!!)!  The only place, on this place, that I would rather be is somewhere close to my dad!  I mean … REALLY!!!  I generally only stay outside during the daytime – that is when it’s not too awfully cold (dad even lets us in at lunch when it’s really hot – and ALWAYS, when it's really hot, when he gets home from work and watches Judge Judy!) … yeah, there are a few times when dad and mom-D were out of town (but Hayley and Cody stopped by EVERY day and checked on us and fed us … and visited with us – (they really are good kids!) – and I know that Ronny was looking every time he drove by (heck, he might’ve come in once or twice just to visit! – but I’m not telling!).  During the nighttime, and on most weekend evenings – we usually stay in the living room (each of us has a bed available (but, first come, first served on choice – don’tcha know) – plus a big ol’ floor that we sprawl out on – then there’s dad’s recliner that we alternate time in with him – EVEN Bubba! – and watch movies and TV shows!  Plus, when dad has been “celebrating” life a little more than he might should – and especially when mom-D isn’t in town – I can sneak down the hall and hop into the bed without too much problem – dad generally wakes up, but I give him my “I Love You[ii]” face and he usually lets me stay for the night (my Sleep Number is around 80)!  This tactic has worked so well that Bubba has even employed it … but he lays beside the head of the bed (on dad’s side of course!)


You can’t imagine all of the places that there are to run and sniff here … and things to chase!  WOW – simply amazing!  I have discovered the blue lizards – they are FUN to chase (but Gall – and Ronny (how does he know) - have advised me not to eat them since they’ll give you a tummy ache!)  The tank (and the race to it with Bubba) – why isn’t there a tank EVERY where?  I’m still not real sure what we’re hunting in the water, but I sure like getting wet!  I am almost always first one in the water (and always the last one out!)!  And when we aren't in the trap where we can go fishing in the tank, we have our own little private pool!  But, speaking of hunting … have you ever seen so many bunnies co-existing with blue lizards?  I mean, really!  I haven’t caught a bunny yet – Gall tells me that I am way overanxious … but I mean … really!  I see ‘em … I chase ‘em!  That’s the way it’s supposed to work isn’t it?  I mean, what does Gall know about Rabbit Chasin’ anyway[iii]!?!


Then we have the “trap” that contains the tank!  What a wonderful place!  It seems that I see a new sight, or get a new smell every time I go out there.  I am so proud that dad takes us out there almost every night, and leaves the gate open on weekends … it’s a veritable SMORGASBORD of things to do, see, smell, and chase!  And we also get to, occasionally, run in the pasture – WOW … that’s an even better “collection containing a variety of sorts of things”[iv]!


And then we have the groceries and treats around this place … mmmmmmmm!  Mom (and even dad sometimes) have commented on my “praying to the food bucket” around 8:55 of an evening (we generally get fed around 9 or 9:15, mas o menos – I don’t like that Mas Guy!).  It’s not that I am all that hungry … it’s just that the groceries are so danged DELICIOUS – the food is “exclusive”[v] – it says so right on the bag, I’ve seen the bag – the bag is Aggie purple and it comes from the feed store!  Also, I get a chewy treat every morning from mom-D – and every so often, in the afternoon or evening – we get a BIG CRUNCHY ONE from dad!  There have been a few times that I’ve gotten one when the other dogs weren’t around – dad says something about “Dog of the Day!”, but I’m generally too busy eating to pay much attention to what he is saying – sure is a nice surprise though.


Don’t even get me started on STICKS … I absolutely love them!!!  Even mesquite sticks – heck, I even like catclaw sticks!!  As we’re heading in from the tank in the evenings, I generally pick up a stray stick to chew on!  At first dad was concerned that I was missing out on some sort of nutrient … but, NOPE … I just really like sticks!  I don’t really like to chase them and have little desire in fetching them (especially, since when I do dad just throws them again!)  NOPE – I just like to eat ‘em!  And we have LOTS of sticks on this place!


Then … there’s MY Gator.  I am sooooo appreciative to PVF for talking dad into it (and letting me come to pick it up … sorry about the accident Nancy!)!  Dad chauffeurs me around almost everywhere I want to go!  I keep telling him that I can drive, but he wants to give me plenty of opportunity to look around and be sure and sniff stuff as we cruise around!  I am the only buppy that has been down to Ronny’s – since I let dad drive me down to the dumpster every week to throw the trash away!  We also cruise the “big” pasture occasionally.  Yeah … I really like my Gator! 


Yeah … these are just a few of the reasons why I am JUST HAPPY AS HELL!  And I hope you are too … what’re your reasons?!  Let us know.







PS – Dad isn’t sure whether that reincarnation stuff happens or not, but if it does – he really wants to come back as one of his dogs!  I don’t know about it either … but I hope that all of us reap what we sow!!  Amen!




Happy As Hell - Cartoon






Here are some thoughts for additional consideration …


Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Abraham Lincoln



Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative.

Mordecai Siegal



Don't look back, you aren't going that way.

Frederick Herzberg



I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.

Penny Ward Moser



Life’s been good to me …

Lyle Lovett (from “All Downhill From Here[vi]”)



I used to look at Smokey and think, "If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking," and he'd look at me like he was saying, "If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to."

Fred Jungclaus



[i] This is a great bunch of folks.  If you’re not in the market for a Buppie right now – maybe you ought to buy a calendar, give a donation, or at LEAST do the Amazon Smile (check out the link – toward the bottom – after you set it up, ABCR gets a little “kick back” every time you buy something from Amazon) thing. 


[ii] Dad couldn’t help plugging his most favorite song …


[iii] What’s that Bubba?  Oh … I am so sorry Gall!   My apologies.  Yes ma’am, I will take that under serious advisement.  Thank You!


[iv] This is also the definition of smorgasbord.


[v] Read more – and check out YOUR dog food at






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