The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

Posted January 12, 2012

It's Gonna Rain 1
WOM Meeting

It's Gonna Rain 2
On the hunt for Rabbits!

It's Gonna Rain 3
I think there was a rabbit here!

It's Gonna Rain 4
Hardway teaching me how to hunt!

It's Gonna Rain 5
Me and my favorite sister!

It's Gonna Rain 6
Are you comin'?
We've got rabbits to catch!

It's Gonna Rain 7
My formative years!  Thanks dad!

It's Gonna Rain 8
Me and my littermates.
I'm the cute one!!

It's Gonna Rain 9
It is pretty parched, isn't it?

It's Gonna Rain 10
Waiting patiently for that treat.

It's Gonna Rain 11
Post WOM, post treat,
and post rabbit chasing!
Whew!!  A day in the life of a BC!

It’s Gonna Rain On Sunday! (At least that what dad and his friends said.)

        by Gall 


Definitions of 'outreach' as searched from


vb [ˌaʊtˈriːtʃ]

  1. (tr) to surpass in reach

  2. (tr) to go beyond

  3. to reach or cause to reach out

n [ˈaʊtˌriːtʃ]

  1. the act or process of reaching out

  2. the length or extent of reach

  3. (Social Welfare) Social welfare any systematic effort to provide unsolicited and predefined help to groups or individuals deemed to need it

  4. (Social Welfare) (modifier) (of welfare work or workers) propagating take-up of a service by seeking out appropriate people and persuading them to accept what is judged good for them

Where DID all of the Rabbits go??!!  After negotiations with BC Union 79735, dad relaxed the goals for this coming CY (err … that’s Collie Year, of course) – and I’m glad that he did!  We are working harder than ever (even Bubba, Bless His Heart!), but we are netting less and less rabbits every night!  There are still a few cottontails (which is good for me, since I AM the smartest and fastest of us all!) but not so good for my big sister Patch!  There are very few jacks anymore.  Bubba came up with the idea of chasing the quail instead of chasing the rabbits … but when dad caught him … well, suffice it to say, he DOES NOT chase quail anymore (they are funny little birds though aren’t they?  Dad and Ronny sit under the lean to, drink beer and GIGGLE at them!  Yeah, they giggle at them, just like little girls would!!)

Well anyway – we were all discussing the situation in our WOM (that’s one of those government acronyms that means Weekly Organization Meeting) the other day, and I came up with a GREAT IDEA[i] (well, Mom did help some!)  You see, I saw that the rabbits were starting to get slim and I kept trying to think of ways to attract more rabbits to our place (this is either marketing or outreach – I keep get confused between the two) – you see, we don’t really get much repeat business in this vocation and if you do meet a rabbit that has attempted to conduct business with our small firm … you’ll seldom get a good referral (though, I like to believe that we are extremely thorough in our business plan!).  So, I had Bubba make up a sign (he’s always looking for something to do, especially if dad will see it!) that said, “Free Rabbit Food Here!!” and then I had him and Annie put it right there along “Patches Road”, right across from that parched UT land, and right next to one of dad’s yard sprinklers (so, it would be all green and inviting to everyone (i.e. – rabbits) who saw the sign, don’t you know!).  We also spread word all over the whole neighborhood (mom and dad got kind of upset with our howling that week …), but Guess What?  It worked!!  We, well mostly me, were catching rabbits again left and right!  Then, the number of rabbits that came each night kept dwindling and dwindling.  I couldn’t understand why!  So, I decided to have Annie and Patches help Bubba – I supervised, and Mom just shook her head at us and said, “Those young ‘uns!” – not sure what that meant – and they made ten more signs!  I had Bubba put them up everywhere on the place!  I was also going to post something on Craig’s List, but dad caught me pawing his laptop that evening and gave me a talking to that still kinda hurts (don’t forget that even though BC’s are super athletes… we are also incredibly sensitive.)  If you know dad, you’d be surprised how sensitive he is … with us anyway … (but I’ve heard him let loose on those poor, unfortunate telemarketers that call during American Pickers)!

Sorry about that, I got off track.  So we now have 11 signs, all strategically placed … but the rabbit numbers continue to decrease.  Then, I found out that … and this is probably Annie’s fault, I haven’t completed all of my research in order to publish the final conclusion yet … it seems like we are in a bad drought or something – our food plot just kinda played out and now everyone (even David) is laughing at our signs!  This is starting to get embarrassing.  We have a group of excellent, talented, loving, loyal, intelligent, hard working, kick butt Border Collies (and of course, we have Bubba who is still holding the porch down!) just twiddling our dewclaws (again, that dang, opposable thumb issue!) just waiting for the rayward wabbit (err, wayward rabbit) and they seem to be fewer than ever!!  Also, I’ve noticed that the less experienced of us (i.e. – that’s Annie … Bubba’s too busy keeping the porch down!) doesn’t even seem to have the patience to lure the rabbits all the way in to our yard.  When the rabbits peer at our lush, green, cool, refreshing, nourishing (see there, that’s either marketing or outreach right there!  I’m a natural!)  grass from the dry, brown, parched, nutrient deficient UT land (that’s an example of “negative” either marketing or outreach!)  across the road, Annie runs up to the fence and starts barking and hopping up and down (kind of like she has Mexican Jumping Beans in her back pockets!) which, of course, totally blows my cover – which, by the way, is under the lantana out in the circle … that’s my spot and it is NOT public domain!  (not to mention Mom’s and Patch’s cover – which, of course, isn’t as good as mine, but pretty close!) – Of course the rabbit’s are smart enough to avoid the yard … they just head on down the road (not toward Ronny’s though since he had that episode last spring with that “one” bird that totally devastated the only thing that was green down at his place!  Oh yeah – his devastation check was recently disapproved by the COC (Woops - was I supposed to tell ya’ll that, or is that pee??!! or is it PII??!!  Dang government acronyms!).

So maybe those signs weren’t the best idea after all to use during a drought!  I guess I should have relied more on dad’s Accu-Forecast instead of relying on George Carlin’s forecast[ii]!  But, don’t worry!  I overheard dad and some of his friends the other day and they all seemed certain that this drought was going end … well it sounded like they said ‘someday’ – but that can’t be right since all of dad’s (well most of them anyway …) friends are almost as smart as the average BC (and I know that EVERYONE thinks that one of them believes that he knows EVERYTHING!) – so, I think that they must have meant Sunday!  That’s wonderful!  I guess that until then, we’ll just keep on keeping on!  We Love Our Jobs – the good and the bad parts both – just remember, like all of dad’s friends said, “It’s gonna rain on Sunday!”



All men have an equal right to the free development of their faculties; they have an equal right to the impartial protection of the state; but it is not true, it is against all the laws of reason and equity, it is against the eternal nature of things, that the indolent man and the laborious man, the spendthrift and the economist, the imprudent and the wise, should obtain and enjoy an equal amount of goods.

         Victor Cousin (1792 - 1867)   



[i] I feel sorry for the person who can't get genuinely excited about his work. Not only will he never be satisfied, but he will never achieve anything worthwhile.

        Walter Chrysler


[ii] Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

        George Carlin

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