The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

Posted July 24, 2014

Outta Soap 01
Momma Roo

Outta Soap 02
"General" Gall

Outta Soap 03
Miss Patches

Outta Soap 04
Miss Annie

Outta Soap 05
Mr. "In The Shop" Bubba
Right Hand MAN

Outta Soap 06
The Crew ... Ready

Outta Soap 07
The Crew ... Lounging

Outta Soap 08
The Crew ... Resting

Outta Soap 09
The Crew ... Resting (Still)

Outta Soap 10


I'm Outta Soap[i] … Have you noticed????

A BC Commentary


Hey folks, Rooney here!  I’ve received some emails and texts concerning the slowdown in material here on the site (NOTE:  This article was started before our first two Guest Articles – which we GREATLY APPRECIATE!! and which also increased our readership!).  Dad has indicated on the Home Page that we have a significant amount of “old” material drafted up … just haven’t been able to push him to do anything with it!  He hasn’t been awfully vocal in any of his rantings in nearly a year or so … , but, he has been lamenting the lagging readership on the site (prior to those Guest ArticlesTHANKS AGAIN!) though … dad can be a hard one to figure out … despite the lagging readership and him not getting as many hours in at work as he used to – he still has that goofy grin and ease in his walk now (plus, I KNOW that he takes a nap just about every afternoon while watching Judge Judy[ii] – since he lets us into the house when he gets sent home early from work (which is almost EVERY day) and since I sleep under his desk!) - he still didn’t type up the remainder of the articles that we have dictated to him (dang opposable thumb issue again!!)  I keep hearing him tell folks that “this” was the best decision ever (if mom-D’s around he changes that up and says “in the past 24 years” – you see, they’ll be married 25 in October!!) – but that only confuses me more … I mean, they only adopted me 10 years ago!  How can “this” be better than when they brought me home[iii]???  Yeah … guess I’m stumped!  Here’s my dilemma … dad isn’t getting as many hours of work in as he was and he seems just fine with that (but mom-D hasn’t slowed down her travelling or shopping), he doesn’t have as much work related stuff that he’s whining about to us every night (guess that’s ‘cause he’s not working as much), and mostly, he just seems happier!  I just can’t figure it all out … what’s up?  Any of ya’ll have any ideas … ?


Gall reporting in … seems to me that the “offensive” troops have pulled back … retreated, you might say!  Dad isn’t fooled though!  I think that he has asked me to stay on guard for a sneak attack!  Don’t you worry though!  With my surveillance and tactical skills, there is nothing to worry about, we have the home camp covered.  We’re re-trenching here and are ready for whatever they throw at us!!  Your home defenses are safe – we all have our jobs to do, that’s our responsibility[iv]!  Gall out!


Well, I’m just thinking that dad has finally realized that he has to be satisfied with what he has.  There isn’t anything he can do about it … is there??!!  I mean, kinda like my busted pelvis and all … I can’t change what has happened, so I might as well just deal with it!!  Right????!  Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t let it keep me down – remember that I am the happiest pup on the place – I just don’t run as often, or as fast, as the others do!!  That don’t mean that I’m not content!  And there ain’t nothing wrong with that!!  PS – in case you didn’t know … this is Patches, the most “Ossimistic[v]” pup on the place!   Capitalize, dang it, Capitalize!![vi]


This is Ann … don’t have long to visit, I’m busy on surveillance with General Gall, and I agree with her … this is just the quiet before the storm!  Them son-of-a-guns will attempt a strike at some point!  Gotta stay prepared!  I’m pretty easy going as long as we’re Winning© (Charlie Sheen still gets full credit for that one!)[vii]!  Dad knows what he’s doing … lull them into complacency, I imagine!  Annie over … Annie out … Heck, I’m just through talking now!!!  Bye!


Good afternoon everyone – Mr. Bubba is “In The Shop”!!!  All of my kin have been kicking “this thing” around and it seems that they can’t come to a consensus.  Not unusual with this group of extremely high thinkers!  But, of course, I have the upper hand on all my sisters, mom, and even mom-D – can you figure out why???  Think about it! … Think!  … Well, dad and I share the same chromosome composition (you know that ol’ XY vs XX argument!!).  Means we think alike … also means that we can pee on trees easier (yeah, I finally started hiking my leg ... sometimes!)  Anyway, here’s the answer … I’ve heard dad change his saying lately … ready … “Life is MORE BETTER THAN good!” … you know, instead of “Life is good!”.  Easy answer right???  It is what is is!!!!  Whatever it is that has happened[viii] (I still don’t have a real firm grip on that one) must’ve been a good thing!  Not gonna argue with it!  Just gonna roll with the punches[ix]!!  Again, it is what it is, folks!!!  And that is ok!!  Enough said!


Good evening everyone – dad here now – all of these kids hit it pretty square on the head … all have valid points and arguments – but the random (and sometimes deep) thinker (almost always sitting or lying to my right) hit it mostly dead on!  I think that it was maybe more the chromosome thing, rather than the peeing on trees thing, for the reason though (or maybe it’s because he always is sitting or lying to my right!).  All of us believe that all of us (bupps, JC, Philip, Grasshopper, JGH (though she's almost always in a good mood) et al included), make a decision each and every day that sets forth how that day will progress.  When we wake up all crappy and pissy … guess how that day is likely to turn out?  If we whistle (or try to – I’ve come to find out that some folks, that I work with, just can’t whistle ---- that’s sad!) while we’re doing our job … guess what, the job seems easier and shorter (of course, where you’re doing it and who you’re doing it with/for plays a pretty major role!!!!!)  So, if you’re in a situation where whistling just isn’t in the cards, maybe it’s time to find a job that doesn’t have any “Whistle Free” zones!!!  In my particular case, I just don’t feel repressed anymore – the vast majority of the stress in my life WAS “old” work related (trying to accomplish the same goals as others - with less resources - and trying (like hell) to take care of my employees (limited as they were).  With my change, I’ve mellowed considerably and I’m not too stressed anymore.  Haven’t had to watch out for Henery Hawk[x] too closely anymore either!!  “Life (really) is MORE BETTER THAN good!!”  I FULLY recommend whistling while you work (even when you’re in the bank!!)







Dang!  You know, when we start using our own articles for footnotes, maybe we don’t need any quotes (or maybe we’ve just said too much already)!!!  This IS (I hope) where you can find deep thoughts though!  These articles, and this website, have truly been a life (or at least sanity) saver for me though.  Please consider the information posted here and see how it relates to your situation.  It might hit pretty close to home!!!!


Peace and love to all!!!!





PS – He’s not really “outta soap” yet … just enjoying and regrouping!  Honestly, after receiving the two Guest Articles, he got a little wound up again and is back to ranting.  More stuff should follow each Thursday for at least the remainder of the summer!!!  Some may just be “fluff” pieces – but we’re gonna try and have something new each and every Thursday!!  The responsibility of the other site is supposed to be off … so that frees up a little time!  Feedback is always appreciated ... but, (Guest Articles are even more appreciated!!)





[i] “Outta Soap” – an expression used by Hondo Crouch (former mayor, and owner, of Luckenbach, Texas).  You see, back in the olden days, soap came in wooden crates.  Back then, when someone had something important (to them at least) to say, they would often crawl up on the crate and say their piece (i.e. – this is where the expressions “I’m on my soap box.”, or “Get off your soap box.” came from).  Well Hondo just perverted this saying a little (in the way that he could) and when he got through with his thoughts … he’d simply say “Well, I’m outta soap!”


[ii] Heck if I know why, but dad is a “judge show” freak.  Cops and Jail shows … don’t even get me started!!  Reality TV … naa huh, not gonna comment -







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