The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.


Posted September 3, 2015

EDITOR'S NOTE:  This was written before the incident, the BC's thought that we should go ahead and publish it just like it was originally written. 

 

 

The Pink Shirt Story …

(or … How dad met mom-D)

By Anonymous (‘cause none of us will take credit for writing this!)

 

Well long before it was cool for fellas to be “tough enough to wear pink!” - dad did … and still does!  As a matter of fact, it was January 30, 1988 – it WAS the night before the Super Bowl – when dad met (sort of) mom-D!  You see, dad and Philmo were hanging out at the Chute #1 (as was the custom on Saturday nights) and dad was having a few whiskey treats and playing at some pool with strangers (it seems that back in the day, he fancied himself as a pool shark – but, he wasn’t!), when he saw this cute, little girl that really tripped his trigger.  So in his emboldened state, he began to conversate with this little lass … no one can seem to recall now what he said (heck, they probably couldn’t even decipher it back then) but his cordiality and familiarity evidently upset the lasses friend’s, date … (who, as we came to find out, was recently discharged from the Army (or Marines … hell he might’ve even been a Navy Seal for all we know!)).  In any event the guy told dad that he was a jerk or something to that effect – dad most likely responded in kind – so the “Army Man” said “Let’s go outside!”

 

By golly – dad doesn’t (and didn’t) often back down (especially back when whiskey and women were concerned) so he followed (this is a key point now … stay focused) the “Soldier” out of the front double doors of the Chute.  It seems that as dad was putting both hands out to catch the swinging double doors that this “Marine” smacked dad right in the face … he got a good solid connection too (dad was probably talking!) – dad reports (and evidence proved) that his lips (bottom AND top) were firmly and evenly placed between each and every tooth in his head … but dad didn’t go down (the fact that he was hanging on to the doors before “the hit” probably helped!).  So as he was attempting to process what had happened, someone told him that the “Seal” was GONE!      

 

WOW – it seems like that this was the classic “hit and run”!  In their small town, dad immediately knew that there was only really one place that he would’ve run to – the co-ed dorms!  Since dad didn’t drive that night, he had to go find Philmo (now, for those of you that don’t know him … he is a fairly sizable guy, and used to keep a half scowl on his mug and he could be a pretty intimidating kind of a fella (but he has always been a big ol’ teddy bear!)).  Anyway, dad went back into the bar in search of Philmo, it seemed as if everyone was paying extra attention to dad as he walked through the bar, but he found Philmo (he was right where he was supposed to be, but he was visiting with some folks) since this was an emergency, dad tapped him on his shoulder and said “Hey, we need to leave!”.  Philmo never even turned around and just said “Just a minute, I’m telling a story!”  So, dad patiently waited, but I guess that the expressions on the faces of the people that Philmo was trying to visit with made him second guess his decision.  So, he turned around to look at dad and it is said that he immediately puffed up like the Pillsbury Dough Boy!!!  (It seems that when you’re smacked pretty solidly, straight in the mouth and your lips are wedged in between your teeth that you have a tendency to bleed profusely – and blood on a pink shirt (dad’s favorite shirt, by the way) makes quite a statement!)  After he bowed up, Philmo says “Where are they?”  (In retrospect, that question still kinda hurts.)  Dad just took off toward the door and Philmo followed … everyone who was watching cleared a path for them!

 

Well, the PD was already there and for some reason, they let dad walk right on by, but stopped Philmo (they probably didn’t want to get blood on their uniforms) … now this part ain’t no shit, and I ain’t joking – it was just life in Texas back in the 80’s[i] … when dad saw that they were questioning Philmo, he hollered for the keys … he got the truck and drove it around to the front of the bar, opened the driver’s door and hollered for Philmo to come on, and scooted over!  Philmo simply shrugged off the officers that were holding him and got in the truck and they headed straight to where this “Veteran” was hiding!  About that time, dad realized that there were two girls in the truck too (remember, this was before crew cabs and even supercabs were popular)!  What??!!  We’re going to a fight … who are the girls?  Well, it turns out that the “Commando’s” date and her friend (the girl that dad was trying to visit with) wanted a ride home, so ol’ Philmo was giving them a ride.

 

Well, to sum this night up, they found him and cajoled and embarrassed him to come out of hiding!  Philmo then drove him, his date, and dad to the outskirts of town so dad and the “Trooper” could settle this little ol’ hit and run issue!  The “Mercenary” then promptly gets dad in a headlock and continued his excellent job of pressing dad’s lips between his teeth (oh, we need to clarify that that he and his date were the only sober people there?) while Philmo hollered encouragement from the sidelines.  Well, the fight ended after the “soldier” questioned dad several times (over about 15 hours … well, it might have been minutes … we get constipated at this point!) if he was ready to give up, and he “Hell, it might’ve even been Chris Kyle for all dad knew” got winded after beating dad’s face in, and since dad had never called uncle (I imagine that it was kind of hard for him to talk with his lips pressed between his teeth), ol’ “Chris” gave up!  So that made dad The Winner!

 

So after dad’s ass was thoroughly kicked … Philmo drove EVERYONE back to town!  Dropped their “guests” off and I think he even tucked them in, he then took dad back to the ranch.

 

Well, like I relayed earlier … this was the night before the Super Bowl.  Dad and Philmo had a big party planned … dad says that it was all he could do to suck spaghettio’s through a straw (literally – and that ain’t no shit!) … dad received a lot of razzing about it, but says that he never thought about that girl again (I mean, none of this was really about her anyway!).

 

As it has been passed down through the ages … a month or so passes – dad is walking through the Administration Building at the school and a sweet young voice calls out … “Would you like to pick up your pay check?” (believe it or not, dad was actually employed by the University as a tutor and lab instructor).  So, dad went up to this cute little girl who was working at the Cashier’s Office thinking “Hey, this chick must like me … she knows my name, and called me over special!”  Well, you guessed it, it seems like this little girl was the friend of the girl who was with “Mr. Kyle” (and turned into our future mom-D)!

 

So … now you know the true story of how dad met the future mom-D!

 

The Anonymous BC's

 

 





Some favorite quotes from past articles ...

.

With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plea; but to tyrants I will give no quarter, nor waste arguments where they will certainly be lost.

William Lloyd Garrison

 

 

Your mind don’t match what your ass got, but cheer up, you gotta be your own mascot.

J Cole (a hip hop, rapper ... pretty deep I'd say!)

 

 

A really companionable and indispensable dog is an accident of nature. You can't get it by breeding for it, and you can't buy it with money. It just happens along.

E.B. White

 

 

It takes no more time to see the good side of life than to see the bad.

Jimmy Buffett

 

 

It’s a shear waste of time thinking of what you would do if things were different.  They aren’t different.

Unknown

 

.

.

 

Editor’s Notes:  Great story (I actually “teared up” just thinking about parts of it!).  And this version seems to be as true as all of the versions that have been related to me!  You see, all of the story (up to the Super Bowl party) has been relayed to me after the fact.  I sometimes recall bits and pieces – but must rely on other’s memories to tell the beginning (and middle … well, parts of the end too!)  Also, as an additional side note … being shy, I didn’t quiz the future mom-D much about how she knew who I was, and she didn’t volunteer too much either, when she called me over from the Cashier’s Office.  So Philmo had to come to the “rescue” again.  I asked him to go by the Cashier’s Office to see if he knew who this little girl was … he confirmed that it was the lass from the “Pink Shirt Night”!  What would we do without out partners in crime!!

 

PS – I have no idea whatever happened to this “Chris Kyle” character – none of my “crew” ever saw him again.  I think he left our country after being embarrassed about getting winded so easily.

 

PPS – If Philmo or mom-D (really the only folks still in “the fold” that have a place to weigh in on this story) would like to provide their “spins” on this story … fire away!  It seems that their ‘stories’ sometimes change significantly based on who is listening!  They seem to think that the more embarrassment for me, the better!

 

PPSS – Mom-D had serious reservations about me referencing the Hero, Chris Kyle in this article.  Absolutely no disrespect is intended (to Mr. Kyle or any other member of the Armed Forces).  To me, it just sounded better to have my ass kicked by a bona fide, John Wayne type hero, than anyone else!  Semper Fi and all that good stuff!

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[i] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEBgRF1hkDA  -- well, maybe I was off by a century, but I really like this song (and we were listening to it around this time!)

 

 

 

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