The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.


Posted July 30, 2012

 

Article-Random Thoughts4-01

ME!!!!

Article-Random Thoughts4-02

Keeping the Tank clear of SHARKS!!

Article-Random Thoughts4-03

Helping Mom!

Article-Random Thoughts4-04

I Like Limes!!

Article-Random Thoughts4-05

Dad's shop is SAFE for everyone!!! Henli.

Article-Random Thoughts4-06

Heading West!

Article-Random Thoughts4-07

Now East!!

Article-Random Thoughts4-08

I Really Like Beverages!!

Article-Random Thoughts4-09

Annie & Gall are looking in the wrong spot!

Article-Random Thoughts4-10

We've got 'em on the run!!!!!

Article-Random Thoughts4-11My New Friend!

Mr. Horn E. Toad!  

 


Random Thoughts (part Quantum)

By Bubba

 

  • "The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations ... well, I have really good days!  Ray Wylie Hubbard "Mother Blues"

  • I heard a guy saying the other day – Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  I thought about that for a while, sounded like a good way to be.  Then, when dad gave us treats the other night, I gave mine to Annie thinking that she’d give me mine back, and hers too – she didn’t.  I may have to visit with mom about that one before I try it again!

  • If you’re not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

  • Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

  • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?    

  • How do they keep all the raisins in a cereal box from falling to the bottom?

  • If you can’t repair your brakes, you should at least make your horn louder.

  • If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

  • There are generally three sides to any argument:  your side, my side and the right side.

  • When dog food has new and improved flavor, I wonder who tests it?  Why haven’t they called me??

  • Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON television?

  • Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (The Friend or The Money !)

  • For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

  • I’ve heard said – Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.  Well … Duh!!!

  • If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

  • Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

  • The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

  • Why do you never hear about gruntled employees?

  • Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

  • If pro is the opposite of con, then is progress the opposite of congress?

  • If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

  • What size were hailstones before the game of golf was invented?

  • When two airplanes almost collide, why do they call it a near miss rather than a near hit?

  • Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

  • If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying."  And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

  • Why do scientists call it “re”search when looking for something new?

  • Why is the telephone key pad arranged differently than a calculator key pad?

  • Always forgive your enemies – Nothing annoys them so much (and it worries them too!)

  • Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have film.

  • How do you know when invisible ink pens run out of ink?

  • Life is too short, ride your best horse first!" ~Unknown

  • Why do your feet smell, and your nose runs?

  • I suspect that timing has a whole lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

  • Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

  • Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.  John Wayne

  • When you’re right, no one remembers.  When you’re wrong, no one forgets.

  • Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

  • A trouble shared is a trouble halved.

  • Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

  • Why do doctors leave the room while you change?  They're going to see you naked anyway...

  • Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?

  • If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

  • Can you imagine what the world would be without hypothetical questions?

  • Would you still be hungry if you ate pasta and antipasta at the same time?

  • If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you would shoot beer out of your nose.

And my closer for this article ...

  • If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

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I truly hope that you found something in these musings that made you ponder a thing or two ... my new friend, Mr. Toad, says that it's good to sit and ponder every so often!

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.  Will Rogers

 

I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying. Charles C. Finn

 

Don’t go to therapy, it will only screw you up more.  Hank Hill

 

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.  Unknown

 

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.  Mark Twain

 

 

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