The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.


Posted February 23, 2012

Random Thoughts (part trees) 1

Me and Annie - she's being mean!

 

Random Thoughts (part trees) 2

Me and Gall - I miss summer!

 

Random Thoughts (part trees) 3

Even in a Blizzard - Me and Patches playing!

 

Random Thoughts (part trees) 4

Me and Mom!!

 

Random Thoughts (part trees) 8

Helping Dad water on a Sunday evening!

 

Random Thoughts (part trees) 9

The great snow of 2012!

 

Random Thoughts (part trees) 10

Defrosting after frolicking in the snow!!

 

 

Random Thoughts (part trees) …

     By Bubba

 

  • Forgive your enemies.  It messes with their heads.

  • When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.

  • Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

  • Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?  

  • If Wylie E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?  

  • Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

  • I was looking up proverbs and such on the internet the other night and found this old saying “Don't try to teach your Grandma to suck egg.”  And I read it, and re-read it … I asked Momma Roo, she didn’t know – I was scared to ask dad since I’ve heard him talk about his grandma and didn’t want to insult him (also, Lori is a grandma – and she’s pretty nice – never figured her for an egg sucker!)  So, Gall showed me more of the internet and I looked up this saying … you won’t believe what I found.  Are you ready?  This saying means, “Don't offer advice to someone who has more experience than oneself.”  This feller named Mark Twain further explained it as … “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”  Wow - what a neat saying!  I’m gonna try that one on dad real soon!

  • I’m an ocean, because I’m really deep.  If you search deep enough you can find rare exotic treasures.

  • Is there another word for synonym?

  • They say that all things come to those who wait.  Well, I’ve been waiting for dad to start letting me live in the house like my mom does for two years, today!  Just how long do I have to wait??!!

  • Why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?

  • Socialism will also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

  • Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?  

  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

  • In winter why does Dad try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when he complained about the heat?

  • How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? 

  • If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

  • It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

  • Unless there is an emergency, always have a good stretch when you get up!  It makes it easier to catch rabbits later!

  • Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?  

  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

  • Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? 

  • If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

  • Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

  • An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

  • Don’t go where the path may lead.  Go instead where there is no path … and leave a trail.

  • It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

  • Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? 

  • What's another word for Thesaurus?

  • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

  • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?  They're both dogs … I can't stand erect!

  • Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat.

  • If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.

  • Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?  

  • Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did do.

  

 

 

Trying to change ourselves in order to please others - so that we can feel temporarily whole for having won their approval - is like cutting a flower into pieces so that it will fit into a vase.

- Guy Finley

 

Think wrongly, if it pleases you, but in all cases think for yourself. 

- Doris Lessing

 

There are men who can think no deeper than a fact. 

- Voltaire

 

The most successful men in the end are those whose success is the result of steady accretion. It is the man who carefully advances step by step, with his mind becoming wider and wider - and progressively better able to grasp any theme or situation - persevering in what he knows to be practical, and concentrating his thought upon it, who is bound to succeed in the greatest degree.

– Alexander Graham Bell

 

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.  

- Woodrow Wilson  

 

 

 

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