The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

Posted September 17, 2015



Rodeo, MIP, Mexico, PI, and Other Signs ...
(or … How PF And Dad Became Friends)

By The BC Crew


How to start … ??  It’s been a pretty long road … lots of (mostly good) miles …


Well, it was September 1985 (30 years ago!).  Dad had just started college and his roommate, Mike, called him to come over to the girls side on the dorm and meet these girls – so, he headed right over … and before too long, he met their boyfriends too!  It wasn’t a bad deal, they were all just sitting around and visiting, but the boyfriends were both pretty dang big and neither seemed overly pleased to meet dad or Mike!


Jump forward about a month and it’s college rodeo time, dad volunteered to help work the rodeo and was assigned to the catch pen.  The guy that he was working with happened to be one of the boyfriends – PF and dad got to visiting and figured out that each one of them wasn’t nearly as bad as each other thought that they were! They then concocted their plan on how to “legally” drink beer on the college rodeo grounds – C&C Convenience Store cups and straws!!  They had a really good weekend and that’s when we think that dad introduced PF to his passion for signage!  You see, there was a “Copenhagen/Skoal” banner that had been tripping dad’s trigger throughout the rodeo.  At the conclusion of the rodeo, he suggested to PF that they just ease on over and get that sign.  We think that PF was a little nervous, but wouldn’t admit it – gotta stay macho and all of that crap, don’tcha know.  But as they were approaching that sign, dad saw that PF was pulling his knife out of his pocket!  Dad quickly corrected him and said, “No.  We have to look like we’re SUPPOSED to be taking this down.  Let’s untie the strings and not cut them.”  They did … and it was just that easy!  They then stood right there in the arena and neatly folded the banner!  It was so easy, as a matter of fact, that PF decided that he wanted the “Skoal” banner on the other side of the arena.  They used the same process on that one!  The only comment that they received was a Thank You from one of the officials.  Sorry Mickye … I’ll take a big chunk of the blame for how he turned out on that end!


In any event … they became pretty fast "partners in crime"!  Being adventurous fellas, it didn’t take them too long (the spring of ’86) to head toward our southern border and the adventures that that land promised!  Being a little cautious, they headed out on a Saturday morning – they figgered that this was simply a scouting trip – find the Mexican “Wal-Mart”,  a grocery store, and eat a meal … then … there it was … the liquor store!  They went in … WOW … everything was really cheap!  They quizzed each other about just how much booze that they could take back to the states (it was sooo before - well, cell phones, for that matter!).  Neither knew, so they decided on two bottles each and a case of beer – that sounded fair, didn’t it?  When they were ready to head back home, they kept on second guessing themselves and both of them started to get a little nervous.  So one of them came up with the brilliant idea of putting the beer in the middle of the toolbox and the bottles in the sleeves of coats that were behind the seat and then putting the coats in the tool box, and locking the toolbox!  Pretty ingenious and problem solved … right!?   Well, they then started back across the border – all they had to do on the Mexican side was pay a few bucks – no questions or issues!  As they pulled up on the good ol’ US side an Agent came up on dad’s side (his window was already down) and asked “Citizenship?”, dad replied “U.S.”.  At the same time a female Agent came up on PF’s side (and had to knock on the window to get him to roll it down) and asked him the same question … PF answered “Yes ma’am.” (dad then helped him with the answer).  Well, we’re just sure that they both looked pretty nervous (though dad swears that it was just PF) … so, the female Agent then asked PF to get out and open the toolbox – PF replied “No ma’am.”  She asked again with a little more authority – PF again replied “No ma’am.”.  Well, now she was getting suspicious, took a step back and placed her hand on her gun and inquired “Why not?”  PF replied “Because he’s got the key!” (and pointed toward dad)!  The Agent on the other side then asked dad to open the toolbox (which he readily agreed to – jumped out of the truck and skedaddled over to the passenger side!)  Dad opened the toolbox and stepped back … he was then instructed to move the coats … that’s when dad decided that it probably would have been a good idea to have taken those brown paper bags off of the bottles before they slid them into the sleeves of the coats!  Well, he had no choice but to comply with the legal request of a Federal Law Enforcement Officer … as he picked up the first goose down jacket (by each sleeve) – it remained stiff and everyone heard it go “Crinkle, Crinkle, Crinkle!!!”  That’s when both dad and PF came clean and told their story – I mean, they TESTIFIED!  The Agents got agitated, brought a dog over, and kept asking about the dope!  At that line of questioning, dad and PF got agitated back and offered to help take the truck apart to prove that they didn’t have any dope!  With negative results from the dog and dad and PF’s impassioned comments about the dope … I can only guess that the Agents decided that they weren’t big, bad smugglers after all … just a couple of dumb college kids.  They were then taken into the office and were properly educated on what, how much, and how often you could legally bring back (at the time, it was a one liter bottle and one case of beer in any 30 day period, and you had to pay tax on it when you cross it!)  Then, their fines were levied … now dad reports that the Agents never actually took their billfolds or counted their money; however, they did take ALL of the money that both of them had (including their secret stashes and the change out of the ashtray) to pay the fines (and, of course, the duty tax on the bottle of tequila that PF kept and dad’s bottle of mescal)!  They report that when they got back to dad’s trailer (after the hour and a half drive) – they enjoyed margarita’s with PF’s tequila (since they had no money left to go to the bar) and when that was gone – they went to searchin’ for that worm (you gotta remember that this was only a few years after Urban Cowboy had come out!)


At the beginning of the next semester, they became roommates, and were for the remainder of dad’s time in college, except for that time that PF took a break from school.


Then … there was when the legal drinking age went from 18 to 21 … not too bad of a deal, dad was “illegal” for about a week and a half, and PF had about a month and 2/3rds … well, they were at an afterhours party at the “white house”, the first half of October 1986, and dad really wanted another beer – so PF and Boo went to get more out of the truck … that’s when Ogletree saw them … dad always felt bad that PF and Boo got those MIP’s!


But when the “dynamic duo” went to go watch dancing a few months later, that little detour in Lorraine was MUCH less fun!  They were just sitting there peacefully when the DPS Trooper MADE THEM get into PUBLIC!!!  They found themselves handcuffed together looking out over a corn field on the west side of the interstate.  The trooper was busy with the driver when PF got to figgering and whispered to dad that if they took off running that they could probably make it to that field before that ol’ trooper even knew that they were gone – dad advised that the ONLY WAY that that was gonna happen was if PF was dragging him by the wrist (but says that he was worried that his buddy might do just that!)!  All in all, that episode wasn’t too terribly bad for those two – just a few hours delay, courtesy of McLennan County.


Yeah … there were many other signs as well!  JAF, Kolo, the “coonass”, Rowan, and Ramal had their hands in (and instigated) some of those as well!!  We really won’t go into too many details on that, in this forum, since we’re not sure when the statute of limitations run on those sorts of deals!  We will allude to that one time that PF and dad ventured out west of town, going after that coveted one (that hangs proudly in dad’s shop), around 3 am.  PF was atop that ¾” sheet of plywood, straddling it, about 10’ in the air (dad had already removed the bolts on the bottom) when PF started banging on his bolts to knock them out when dad saved his life (or something else) by saying something along the lines of “Hey – I don’t know why, but I think that we oughta get that from the ground.”  PF thought about it for a sec, and then heartily agreed!  T & N oughta be more thankful to ol’ “Uncle B” for that!  (If anyone doesn’t know the full story – just hit up dad … it’s one of his favorites!)


Well, we hope that you enjoyed this “Throwback Thursday” article about how PF and dad became the brothers that they are today!




Some Favorite Quotes



Friendship is Love, without his wings.

Lord Byron



Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.

Author Unknown



The only type of ship that won’t sail, is a partnership.

Dave Ramsey

(While PF has been in a few - dad and PF have just stayed in a FriendShip!)



People who snore always fall asleep first.

Author Unknown



I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.

Thomas A. Edison






Editor’s Note:  Yeah … PF (sometimes referred to as PVF) is also Philmo and Philip … He’s also Lucy’s dad!  Re-read Dad's Other Brother ... for a more complete insight and a teaser for a possible article from Lucy or maybe even drunk Henry!






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