The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

Posted October 2, 2014


Some Favorite Quotes ...


Ya'll know that we are "quote whores" - lots of times there can be a lot of truth, insight, and reflection in a few words or lines.  So, a lot of our down time is spent looking through quotes ... generally we look at all types of quotes, copy and paste them to "our file" for future use - and a few times, a quote has even inspired us to compose an entire article around that subject/quote.


Below is a handful of quotes - all from the same general source - that we have maintained for a while.  Rooney used some in her Speak Your Mind article back on New Year's Day.  We decided to go ahead and just throw the rest of them out there in a smorgasbord of wisdom (even though some may consider it crude, backwoods wisdom - but we think it's all pretty good stuff!)


Hope you enjoy - and maybe even reflect a little bit!


  • "A beaver is about like the ninjas... the suckers only work at night and they're hard to find." - Si

  • "A redneck walkin' into Bass Pro Shops gets more excited than a 12 year old girl going to a Justin Beaver concert." - Si  

  • "Did I not tell you that wouldn't gag a maggot on a gut wagon?" - Jase

  • "I never judge a man's prowess by the size of his duck call. I don't care how big it is." — Jase

  • "It seems a fine line between being a matador and being a rodeo clown" - Jase

  • "It's a nail bitter to see who takes last place..." - Mountain Man

  • "Look here beavers you better hide your wife hide your husband and both of you hide your kids we're coming" - Si

  • "Redneck law:  Must have a gun.  Must shoot it regularly." — Willie

  • "You can see the true heart of a man when you're out in the woods with a weapon." - Jase

  • "You want some testicles on that!  Hey look!  BANG!  Snip ... There ya go!" - Si

  • “Calling your girlfriend your "lady friend" is a great way to let everyone know you both met on Craig's List.” - Si

  • “First it's pretty tires, then it's pretty guns ... next thing you know, you're shavin' your beard and wearin' Capri pants.” - Si

  • “Help me! I falled! And I dropped my tea!” - Si

  • “Here let me take that.  I don't want you to get a hernia.  It took you 2 years to get over the last one.” - Phil

  • “Hey, whatever lights a fire under ya.” - Phil

  • “Hey, you want something done right, don't ask me.” - Si

  • “I don't know any redneck that's not into fun. That's their middle name. ‘Red-Fun-Neck’!” - Si

  • “I have a massive wedgie.  I shouldn't have worn underwear.” - Willie

  • “It's like breaking up with a girl, you don't miss her till she's gone.” - Jase

  • “Nothin’ tells a girl you've moved on more than a deer in the back of your pickup truck.” - Jase

  • “Si is a logical vacuum.” - Phil

  • “The thing a man will do for a little honey on the biscuit.” - Phil

  • “When I say CEO I mean a Caveman with an Ego who's Obsessed.” - Jase

  • “When in doubt, figure it out … that's the redneck way.” - Willie

  • “When you have a flaming hot donut in your hand and your trying to eat it you’re not worried about 10 and 2.” - Jase

  • “Willie is as wound up as a coon dog tryin' to pass a peach seed.” - Jase

  • “You can't spell stupid without SI!” - Martin

  • “You look like Rambo made love to a Beaver.” - Si

  • “You put five rednecks on a mower it's gonna be epic.” - Willie

  • “Plenty of fish in the sea...stingray...gamma ray...ray-ban...” - Si

  • “Wisdom comes from our life experiences, wish I could say I wouldn’t change any of them - but I have learned from them, and am more blessed every day and appreciate everything that the Lord gives me.  Be thankful every day, this family deserves to be blessed!  You go Robertson’s!!!!” - Si

  • “This is gonna set 'em straight or I'm gonna get the wooden spoon.” - Miss Kay

  • “Work hard.  Nap hard.  Hey, that's what I always say, Jack!” – Si

  • “Hey can mean anything.  It can mean yes, it can mean maybe, it could mean no, it could mean next week.  Hey, the bottom line is you have to understand me to understand hey.” – Si

  • “My parents were hoarders before hoarding was cool.” - Jase

  • “Everything I say is 95% truthful.” - Si

  • Eye doctor:  “Better one, better two?”  Si:  “Got a three or a four … ah nah, they're both bad.”

  • “My hands smell like taco meat.” - Godwin

  • “Ya'll might want to go to Wal-Mart and pick up a personality.” - Phil

  • “I don't want my grandkids comin’ to me sayin’ “Papa I got syphilis” I know where that comes from.” – Phil

  • “Life is good!  Color TV ... A commode that flushes ...” – Phil

  • “All I need in a house is a place to eat, sleep, and a back room to chase Miss Kay around and I can do that right here, NOOOOOOO Problem.” – Phil

  • “Is this turning into a near death experience ... possibly.  Does this add to the adventure ... absolutely!” – Jase

  • “You can make water into wine, if you're Jesus, last I checked ... Your name is Willie.” - Jase

  • “Where I'm from, you don't mess with another man's woman ... or his hat.” - Jase

  • “Boy, this is funner than chucking rocks at a sign.” - Godwin

  • “Every action in life begins with a decision and unfortunately we don’t always make the best ones.” -Willie

  • “You’re not a proper woman unless you own a goat or two.” – Miss Kay

  • “Any animal can get big, boys ... Hey ... once I reached down to pet a little dog and when I did … hey … it was a 5 pound squirrel.” - Si

  • “Work without fun is like peanut butter without jelly!” - Jase

  • “Whether you're talking about bees, dogs, or women, pain can come upon you quickly from either one of em.” - Phil

  • “Nothin’ makes a dad happier than seeing his daughter with a smile on her face and her boyfriend with fear in his eyes.” - Willie

  • “The chances of us getting this done is about like Phil going to a Lady Gaga concert.” - Willie

  • “When you don't know what you're doing its best to do it quickly.” - Jase

  • “My top 10 dumbest things I've done in my life have all included Si in some way.” - Jase

  • “Ducks are a lot like women ... they don't like mud on their butts.” – Phil

  • “Having your brother as a boss is a lot like dating your cousin ... it's a bit weird.” - Jase

  • “The more make up a woman wears the more she's tryin’ to hide.  Make up can hide a lot of evil.” - Phil

We are regular DVR'ers of Duck Dynasty (most everything we watch is DVR'ed now - minimal time during the day in the house - EXCEPT watching Judge Judy! - Don't expect any of us to answer the phone between 4 and 5 during the week!).  We do enjoy DD - don't agree with them on everything they do - but certainly respect their general premises.  We've always been a little envious of the prayer at the end - typically VERY GOOD stuff.  Many times kinda like a mini-BC article!!!  Can't find any fault with that!









Oh yeah, one last quote ...



“Everybody happy, happy, happy.” - Phil






You know that after THAT quote, we just had to paste this cartoon back in here ONCE AGAIN!!

(and it probably won't be the last time you see it!!)



Happy Happy Happy





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