The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

Posted January 1, 2014


Speak Your Mind …

By Rooney


As you might have gathered from reading these little stories, dad is always commenting on my ability (and willingness) to "speak up" when things are not going the way that I had anticipated or planned (he says that he is not real sure where that attribute comes from, but mom-D tells me that I certainly came by it honestly with way too many nights out in the shop) – in any event, I am a huge proponent of speaking up and letting folks know what I am thinking.  Maybe, sometimes, I can go a little overboard with this passion … but, HEY, that’s why they call it passion isn’t it?


Along that vein of thought, I ran across a series of quotes[i] from some folks that also haven’t shown much of a propensity to “bite their tongues” or “check their words” (kind of like a compliance guy that we hear about!) – but that’s all good … keep reading!  So anyway, I’d like to take a part of this time and space to share some of my more favorite quotes from these folks:


  • "A real man don't call the plumbers. If he's gonna call himself a man, he needs to know how to fix it, on the spot." - Phil

  • "Ford F150, Chevy Silverado, Dodge Ram, Toyota Tundra.  As a married man, these are the only pickup lines I am allowed to use." - Si

  • "I am the MacGyver of cooking. If you bring me a piece of bread, cabbage, coconut, mustard greens, pigs feet, pine cones...and a woodpecker, I'll make you a good chicken pot pie." - Si

  • "I don't know about this 'Justin the Beaver.'" - Kay

  • "I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife) ... but still my own." - Si

  • "I may not use any of this stuff but, Hey, look I can sell it on Greg's List!" - Si

  • "I sting like a butterfly and punch like a flea." - Si

  • "I'm a low tech man in a high tech world." - Phil

  • "In a subdivision, you call 911.  At home, I AM 911! "- Phil

  • "It's time to pee on the fire and call in the dogs boys." - Phil

  • "Jase you have a lot more to worry about on judgment day than dumping bad meat in the church dumpster." – Al (the non-bearded brother)

  • "Last time it got this hot, I blacked out, I woke up naked, and I was in the middle of a park." - Si

  • "One time, Hey, in high school this girl told me, Hey, it’s not you, it’s me ... of course it’s you, you dang heifer!" - Si

  • "Our marriage is living proof that love and family can get you through everything." - Miss Kay

  • "Si, the speed limit sign said 35. You’re goin' 55." - Sadie.  "Oh, that's just a suggestion." - Si
    "Thank God the government shutdown is over so we can finally get back to the government let down!" - Phil

  • "This is gonna set 'em straight or I'm gonna get the wooden spoon." -Miss Kay (dad shivers when he reads this quote!  His mom was fond of wooden spoons too!)

  • "To say I was forced to come to this art gallery against my will, would be a correct assertion." - Jase

  • "When you don't know what you're doing, it's best to do it quickly!" - Jase

  • “America, everybody is in too big of a rush. Lay back, take a sip of tea, mow a little grass. Then if you get tired, take a nap.” - Si

  • “Every hero has a kryptonite or an uncle Si.” - Willie

  • “Get off that WII-pod.” - Phil

  • “Hey, I once got handed down underwear and a paperclip for Christmas, and it was a great gift.” - Si

  • “Hey, you told me to bring stuff.  Stuff is a very broad term.” - Si

  • “I don't like the uniforms.  Hey, right now, I want to kick my own butt.” - Si

  • “I make up people all the time to get out of stuff.” - Si

  • “I wished I had some wienies or marshmallows or somethin.” - Godwin

  • “I’m the master of distractions.  Do a couple of hand gestures, and bam!  I’ll take the underwear clean off your butt.” - Si

  • “I'm so dope, I am illegal in 50 states!” (stating how good he looks up dressed up) - Si

  • “I'm the most cultured man in this family.  I've been to Vietnam, Germany, Boise, Idaho & Shreveport, last week.” - Si

  • “Redneck rule number one, most things can be fixed with duct tape and extension cords.” - Jase

  • “She may be an ugly woman but if she cooks squirrel and dumplins, that's the woman you go after.” - Phil

  • “Some people say I’m a dreamer, others say, if you fall asleep at work again we’re going to have to let you go." - Si

  • “Where I come from, your truck is an exact reflection on your personality.” - Jase

  • “Whether you're talkin' about bees, dogs or women, Pain can come up on you QUICKLY!” - Si

  • “Work hard.  Nap hard.  Hey, that's what I always say, Jack.” - Si

  • “You can talk any redneck into a challenge.  That's why so many rednecks die in strange ways.” - Jase

  • “You need to be able to take a leak in your yard without someone saying, hey, what's he doing". - Phil

  • “Your beard is so hairy, even Dora can't explore it.” - Si

  • Willie: "You look like an idiot."  Jep: "I'm wearing the same thing you are, but I make it look good."


Yeah – these are quotes from the Duck Dynasty crew … well, they have been making news for quite some time.  The most recent is, of course, Phil’s quotes in GQ (GQ … really?  Well, dad always likes to say that it takes all kind of people to make this ol’ world spin round!).  These comments have caused quite a soap opera over HIS beliefs hasn’t it?!  Guess his bosses at A&E didn’t much care for his comments, for whatever reason, and they suspended him from future filming (but they’re still gonna air the new episodes that feature him … ???).  Now, I hope that you’re not anticipating a dialogue on whether what ol’ Phil said was right or wrong … not gonna happen … not by me, and not on this site!!  I mean, after all, he only expressed his opinion (like we do in EVERY story).  His opinion has no effect on me or mine at all.  I mean, like dad has commented on many times before, “Opinions are like @$$holes, everybody has a different one!” (sorry about that colorful language there, but sometimes you have to go to extremes to make your point!) 


While you’re considering all the drama that has evolved, and surely will continue to revolve, over this issue (NOTE:  I am writing this article on “Boxing Day” and it likely won’t publish until after the 1st.) I would like for you to recall the comments[ii] that many of the Hollywood Elite (led, I believe, by Alec Baldwin) made a few years back regarding their political convictions and their choices of where to live dependent on the outcome of the Presidential election.  How about Willie Nelson and Woody Harrelson's discussions on the benefits of dope and how we all ought to embrace it?  What about the comments that the Dixie Chicks made in England[iii] a few years back?  Well, while I supported the candidate that Alec dissed – I still like Alec as an actor (especially in The Hunt for Red October); I LOVE Willie’s music and still LOL at Woody in Cheers – though none of us on this place have ever smoked dope! (and we really imagine that our politics, in general, don’t gee haw too well either); and we still have all our “Chicks” CD’s and MP3’s (and we still listen to, and enjoy, them). 


Now, I know that Alec caught a little public flack over his comments (especially since he didn’t relocate); Willie and Woody don’t seem to have been hurt by their comments; but the Dixie Chicks career was turned on end, and was essentially ended, as a result of their comments.  I guess I support A&E’s ability (note that I didn’t make any reference to the actual decision) to suspend Phil from future filming – I mean come on folks, A&E IS Phil’s boss!  They hired him … they can fire him if they want!  Though, I have a feeling that this may really come to bite them in the tail – but, they are still the bosses and can do as they please, provided they aren’t breaking the law!


All that being said, there are folks that claim that Phil is being censored – that his freedom of speech is being violated.  I disagree.  He said it, and is still saying it!  The First Amendment states that the “Government” shall make no law to restrict freedom of speech or religion.  Phil broke no laws and no one is going to arrest him.  His bosses though, did elect to censor him … and I think that this action is well within their purview as his employer.  I suspect that dad would have my hide if I went too far out in left field in one of my articles (and that might be viewed by some as a restriction in freedom of the press – but, then again, he does pay the hosting fees on this site, so, I guess he can restrict to his little ol' heart’s desire!!)


Why do we care what Phil, Alec, Willie, Woody, or Natalie says, or thinks?  If you’re like me, you hear bunches of stuff every day that you don’t agree with!  What do you do when your boss likes cheeseburgers, but you’re lactose intolerant?  Do you quit him?  No!  People, we have to remember that this is America and one of the main things that makes us America is our FREEDOM!! – and that means opinions, belief systems, AND choices of whether to include dairy products in our dietary regimen!  It’s not like Phil is the President, or something, laying down some new law, philosophy, or belief that imperils our way of life!


Now, you’ll have to excuse me – I shouldn’t have had that cheeseburger and milkshake! 


Adios ‘til we meet again,






 Speak Your Mind





[i] Quotes from: (this is only a few selected quotes from page 1 – 22 (of 50 some odd pages).


[iii] “… and we're ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas.”






Back to HOME Page

This is a "funsy" little website that allows us (that's the BC's) to allow dad to vent about life's ups and downs.
Remember, this is all in fun and isn't intended to hurt anyone's feelings!

If you would like to support this website - that's easy!
Just smile at someone, pat a dog, hug your spouse, help a neighbor, help a stranger, get involved in something worthwhile,
but remember, EVERY DAY, you need to share a laugh with a friend!!!  You can make a difference - START NOW!!!!!!!!
If you enjoyed what you read (or thought about), please let us know at!
God Bless You.




Copyright 2011-2018 -  -  All Rights Reserved

If anyone would even want to publish this stuff though - email us at and I am sure we could work something out.