The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.


Posted June 27, 2013

 

The Most Interesting Dog in the World[i]

By Bubba

 

  • Regardless of whose wedding it is … he’s the best man.

  • He successfully made a molehill out of a mountain.

  • He's broken world records … by accident.

  • He plays water polo … horseback.

  • He won a lifetime achievement award … twice.

  • He knows whether there is life on other planets. Personally.

  • People say great things about him behind his back.

  • His s'mores have 19 ingredients.

  • His bicycle built for 2 accommodates 9.

  • When he dials a wrong number, people can’t believe their good luck.

  • He starts and stops wearing white when he feels like it.

  • He once backyard grilled a soufflé.

  • Objects in his side view mirror appear exactly as they are.

  • Wolves are deeply disappointed that he was not raised by wolves.

  • The yellow brick road leads to his house.

  • In a previous life, he was himself.

  • When opportunity knocks, if he isn’t home - opportunity waits.

  • The principal went to his office.

  • His opinions are laws in some countries.

  • Conclusions draw themselves for him.

  • Sasquatch is excited to have sighting of him.

  • When he can't sleep, the sheep count for him.

  • The grass is always greener on his side of the fence.

  • Waiter's tip him.

  • He has inside jokes with complete strangers.

  • Manual cars automatically shift for him.

  • He knows Victoria's secret.

  • Cops get frisked by him.

  • OSHA is never in compliance with his standards.

  • He once struck oil while engaging in a good old fashioned friendly game of lawn darts.

  • Auto correct refuses to correct words spelt by him.

  • He knows what to do for a Klondike Bar.

  • When he was a kid he made daylight saving time just so he could stay outside longer.

  • If he punched you, you would thank him.

  • Pennies increase in value when spent by him.

  • He discovers that Pluto isn’t a planet, but decides to keep quiet until science catches up.

  • The Pope has his cell number, just in case he needs advice.

  • Aliens landed in Roswell while trying to discover him.

  • Women make sure to leave the toilet seat up for him.

  • He knows where Waldo is.

  • He can divide by zero.

  • He counted to infinity … twice

  • Peanut Butter doesn't stick to the roof of his mouth.

  • Bouncers bribe him to come in.

  • Even his accidents are carefully coordinated.

  • He is his own stunt double.

  • He can jet ski a double black diamond.

  • Good things come to him even when he doesn't wait.

  • He's almost as good as Cupid at matchmaking, and way better at archery.

  • When he picks up a penny, everyone gets good luck.

  • On a cold day, people come from miles around to see his breath.

  • He knows six words that rhyme with "purple".

  • He can read barcodes.

  • When man first went to the moon they found a Dos Equis bottle with a paper message … "stay thirsty my friend"

 

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 And be sure to "Stay Grounded" Too!!!!

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[i] OK – I’m sorry!  This is a cheap rip off of the Dos Equis guy.  Sorry, but I really like that Dude!!  Stay Thirsty My Friends!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

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This is a "funsy" little website that allows us (that's the BC's) to allow dad to vent about life's ups and downs.
Remember, this is all in fun and isn't intended to hurt anyone's feelings!

 
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and
 
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