The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

Posted June 27, 2013


The Most Interesting Dog in the World[i]

By Bubba


  • Regardless of whose wedding it is … he’s the best man.

  • He successfully made a molehill out of a mountain.

  • He's broken world records … by accident.

  • He plays water polo … horseback.

  • He won a lifetime achievement award … twice.

  • He knows whether there is life on other planets. Personally.

  • People say great things about him behind his back.

  • His s'mores have 19 ingredients.

  • His bicycle built for 2 accommodates 9.

  • When he dials a wrong number, people can’t believe their good luck.

  • He starts and stops wearing white when he feels like it.

  • He once backyard grilled a soufflé.

  • Objects in his side view mirror appear exactly as they are.

  • Wolves are deeply disappointed that he was not raised by wolves.

  • The yellow brick road leads to his house.

  • In a previous life, he was himself.

  • When opportunity knocks, if he isn’t home - opportunity waits.

  • The principal went to his office.

  • His opinions are laws in some countries.

  • Conclusions draw themselves for him.

  • Sasquatch is excited to have sighting of him.

  • When he can't sleep, the sheep count for him.

  • The grass is always greener on his side of the fence.

  • Waiter's tip him.

  • He has inside jokes with complete strangers.

  • Manual cars automatically shift for him.

  • He knows Victoria's secret.

  • Cops get frisked by him.

  • OSHA is never in compliance with his standards.

  • He once struck oil while engaging in a good old fashioned friendly game of lawn darts.

  • Auto correct refuses to correct words spelt by him.

  • He knows what to do for a Klondike Bar.

  • When he was a kid he made daylight saving time just so he could stay outside longer.

  • If he punched you, you would thank him.

  • Pennies increase in value when spent by him.

  • He discovers that Pluto isn’t a planet, but decides to keep quiet until science catches up.

  • The Pope has his cell number, just in case he needs advice.

  • Aliens landed in Roswell while trying to discover him.

  • Women make sure to leave the toilet seat up for him.

  • He knows where Waldo is.

  • He can divide by zero.

  • He counted to infinity … twice

  • Peanut Butter doesn't stick to the roof of his mouth.

  • Bouncers bribe him to come in.

  • Even his accidents are carefully coordinated.

  • He is his own stunt double.

  • He can jet ski a double black diamond.

  • Good things come to him even when he doesn't wait.

  • He's almost as good as Cupid at matchmaking, and way better at archery.

  • When he picks up a penny, everyone gets good luck.

  • On a cold day, people come from miles around to see his breath.

  • He knows six words that rhyme with "purple".

  • He can read barcodes.

  • When man first went to the moon they found a Dos Equis bottle with a paper message … "stay thirsty my friend"




 And be sure to "Stay Grounded" Too!!!!



[i] OK – I’m sorry!  This is a cheap rip off of the Dos Equis guy.  Sorry, but I really like that Dude!!  Stay Thirsty My Friends!!!!






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