The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.


Posted July 1, 2014

 

The Most Interesting Dog in the World 2[i]

By Bubba

 

  • When he goes to Rome … the Romans do what he does.

  • He doesn’t follow directions … directions follow him.

  • 911 lists him as their emergency contact.

  • He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a rabbit before returning to the tank.

  • His organ donation card also lists his beard.

  • Whales watch him.

  • Alien abductors have asked him to probe them.

  • He can speak fluent French … in Russian.

  • The judge rises when he enters the courtroom.

  • Bees are allergic to him.

  • He can pop a wheelie … on a unicycle.

  • For him, it ain’t over ‘til it’s over.  And even then, it’s really his call.

  • When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring.

  • The police often question him just because they find him so dang interesting.

  • When a tree falls in a forest and no one is there ... he hears it.

  • He once taught a German Shepherd how to bark in Spanish.

  • He was acquitted of breaking the laws of physics.

  • He went to a psychic once … to warn her.

  • His selfie won an academy award and best supporting actor.

  • His wallet is made out of chupacabra leather.

  • When he drives a car off the lot, it's price increases in value.

  • If he were to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume.

  • He is the life of parties that he has never attended.

  • When he goes to strip clubs the dancers throw money at him.

  • He knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop.

  • He never wears a watch, because time is always on his side.

  • Mosquitos will not bite him out of respect.

  • No matter what side of the bed he wakes up on, it’s right.

  • Homeland security checks in with him.

  • He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.

  • He enjoys the taste of kryptonite.

  • His mother has a tattoo that says "Son".

  • He has never written a rough draft.

  • Sharks have a week just for him.

  • He has taught old dogs a variety of new tricks.

  • He once caught the Loch Ness Monster….with a cane pole, but threw it back.

  • He is Dr. Phil’s (and dad's) counselor.

  • The Sears stove repairman waits 4-6 hours for him.

  • He once got out of checkmate.

  • When he wants a second opinion, he talks to himself.

  • He knows the last digit of Pi.

  • He explained the theory of relativity using a bottle of Dos Equis, a pretzel, string, a crescent wrench and soapstone … Einstein got it.  (Finally!)

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[i] OK – I’m sorry!  This is another cheap rip off of the Dos Equis guy.  Sorry, but I really like that Dude!!  Stay Thirsty My Friends!!!!

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Oh yeah - current studies indicate between 300 and 500, but like Mr. Owl - I say three is a good number!  I CAN do it in one!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This is a "funsy" little website that allows us (that's the BC's) to allow dad to vent about life's ups and downs.
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