The Border Collie Chronicles

Observations from (arguably) the World's Smartest Dogs;
(but, without question, the bestest friends!)
or, Life As We Understand It, as told from dad's shop.

Posted April 22, 2013
Annie Castration!
By Annie (with weak assistance from my bother


(Wait ... What’d they say?)


 Mom-D and dad (mostly mom-D) have been talking about this castration thing that is (or soon will be) impacting all federal government employees (heck, the reverberations just keep moving on down the pipe … I just read on Yahoo! News that the airlines and the pilots are now suing the Federal Government, because the folks at the FAA aren’t going to be at work - I guess that they are all just too sore from their castrations!  And I also hear that folks visiting the National Parks can’t go on nature hikes or hear the nature talks in the Amphitheatres because the Federal Park Rangers are also too sore!).  Now, dad has explained to us the serious budget concerns that the Federal Government is currently facing, and I am as concerned as everyone else should be!!  I certainly want us to figure out how to deal with this.  But, I’m not real sure why Congress (both parties here folks – I’m NOT playing favorites!) and the President would be wanting to castrate all these folks (or, even to think about, the hideous things that they plan on doing to the girl employees) just because they, themselves, can’t even seem to get along and figure out a plan to resolve the budget (you know that dad lets us listen to Dave Ramsey[ii] on the radio sometimes, and I think that he has the plan – he says it’s simple … Spend less than you make!!!  Well Duh!!! – I guess that the Congress People and President can’t afford XM in order to listen to Dave?!  But wait, Dave provides a free podcast of his show every day from his website!!????   Hmmmm, maybe they don’t want to find a sensible answer??!!).  Now, I watch enough news and hear enough stories about these government employee folks, and probably would agree that some of these folks would probably be helping all of us (and themselves) out by not reproducing … but, I think this time, the government is clearly overstepping it’s own boundaries.  Maybe, it’s time that they checked their own yards before they call the neighborhood beautification council on their neighbors!!


I am a little worried about dad though … I remember all of Bubba’s moaning and groaning when he was “fixed” (yeah, go ahead and read Bubba’s VERY FIRST cartoon!  Now do you get it!?!?) and he still moans and groans (and sometimes even crosses his legs) when folks talk about it.  Now, dad doesn’t deal with physical pain very well at all (he’s kind of a wimp on that sort of deal … don’t EVEN try and take his blood without laying him down like a little baby first!) – plus, I don’t see how castrating all the government employees will save the government any money at all – actually, I think that it will probably cost ADDITIONAL money.  But, I reckon that it will keep all the doctors and nurses working though!  Dad also talked about the possibility of furloughs at his work – I wonder if they’ll let him use his furlough days right after he’s been castrated??  That’d be a pretty good deal, I reckon, I mean – if a feller has to be castrated AND has to be off work without pay … I guess he oughta be holding an ice pack! 


Well – I guess that is all that I really have to say about all of this – but I do want to go on the record to let everyone know that I am NOT happy with the “Castration Plan”.  I don’t have any kind of fancy school degree, but I do have some thoughts – I figure that the good ol’ USA ought to get on the Dave Ramsey Plan and simply spend less than we make.  If we furlough “regular” government employees, furlough Congress, the Cabinet, and the President as well!  I figure that if they can’t come up with a plan that all those yeahoots can agree to, that we oughta just have a 15% (or whatever % that it needs to be to balance this ol’ thing out) cut on ALL federal spending (except the military expense since Momma Roo, as head of security, says that we ALWAYS have to stay on the defensive … let your guard down and those dang ol’ rabbits will sneak right up on you!!) – which SHOULD INCLUDE Congress and the President!!!!!  Now, I understand that President Obama has indicated that he was taking a voluntary pay reduction (easy to say when you’re a bazillionaire and living in government subsidized housing), but Vice President Biden indicated that he wasn’t rich enough to do that[iii] … (heck, he makes way more than mom-D and Dad combined!!!!)  You know, I figure that if this is what it has come to - then Congress and the President ought to be castrated just the same as the regular folks!!!










Editor’s Note by Rooney:  I would imagine that most of our distinguished readers have already determined that our young Miss Ann meant sequestration and not, castration.  As we discussed this in the editing room, we thought of several other “-ations” that she could have confused this with, and, quite frankly, we are proud that she came up with castration!  Regardless of your political affiliation, give these thoughts some of your thoughts and decide for yourself – whether you agree or not, you have to admit that she does have some valid points.


As far as dad and mom-D – they’ll be ok.  Despite all of the internal memos that they have received not to discuss it publically, I am proud to say that, while both face pretty severe daily budget cutbacks (dad takes his own pens to work – mom-D buys them at Wal-Mart cheaper than the government can buy them for), it does not appear that mom-D will be furloughed, but it is still “threatened” that dad’s folks may have up to five days of furlough.  Unfortunately for dad, the furlough days (if they come) will probably be staggered, one day a pay period for the remainder of the fiscal year.  It’s all good though – young Miss Ann still has some pretty good ideas!  Mom-D and dad will be fine since they knew Dave Ramsey’s Plan long before they ever heard of him on the radio (good Scots-Irish upbringing there I guess!!)


A further note - Bubba did assist on this article since the subject is near and dear to him … but, he only received a mention of his writing credit since he was outside throwing up during most of it (it was just too personal and painful for him!!!).


 Smiley Face







 Castration Cartoon






Some Quotes for additional thought …


“Bureaucrats, like mobs, don't respond to reason.”  Dale Gribble (King Of The Hill television show)


“Live like no one else, so later, you can live like no one else.”  Dave Ramsey


“Never tread lightly.  Leave a deep impression wherever you go.”  K. Rafferty


“The future will be better tomorrow.”  Dan Quayle


Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.  Kurt Vonnegut







[i] Yeah – I meant Bother!  He is also my Brother and I Love Him!


[ii]  Good stuff here folks … check it out!


[iii] Unlike Obama, Biden to wait for any pay cut  (Reuters) - Unlike his boss and several other Cabinet members, Vice President Joe Biden will hold off on taking a pay reduction in solidarity with government workers hit by the sequestration budget cuts, his office said Friday.




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